Matt Rubens

According to vcdave’s extensive analysis, mattrubens.com is worth $1000! How does your site stack up? (Apologies to Chuck from iminlikewithyou for the post title.)

http://www.vcdave.com/sitevalue.html

vs.

The barber said “so… looks like you won’t have to worry about having a girlfriend for a while.”

Aqua Teen Hunger Force is a cartoon featuring talking food, including a talking milkshake named Master Shake, a box of french fries named Frylock and a meatball named Meatwad. (Chicago Tribune)

Dear blog.mattrubens.com,

I’m sorry that I haven’t written in so long. I could make up a million excuses, but the truth is that I’ve found another blog. You’re right — it’s not just a coincidence that my last post was about The Jamglue Blog. When all is said and done, I have to be honest with myself. And, I really feel like this is the time in my life to explore new blogs.

For example, I’ve just started Lonely Planet Uruguay. I don’t know how serious things will get, but I just want to play it by ear. Maybe I’ll realize my mistake sometime down the road. But until then, let’s just remember the happy times.

Love always,

mattrubens

Inspired by Greg Linden’s excellent Early Amazon series and a random YouTube video I stumbled upon today, I’m going to start a series of posts about my days as one of the early members of Amazon’s Digital Media group. (Don’t get too excited — this series will probably only be one post long.)

Working at an online retailer definitely had its share of perks. For example, the “Free Book Room”. Ever wonder where all of the books that editors review for Amazon go after they’ve been reviewed? Well, I assume that the editors keep the good ones. But, the long tail of Amazon ends up free for the taking by Amazon employees. And that’s how my bookshelf ended up full of classics like Why Your Toothbrush May Be Killing You Slowly. (I should really get my Associates account set up for these links.)

As exciting as it sounds, free books were only the tip of the iceberg. The day my office “acquired” a Flybar was one of my happiest at Amazon. We had fun jumping around on it all day, or at least from 5pm - 9am (when the lawyers on the floor below us weren’t at work). I’m proud to have been the impetus behind the mandatory helmet rule. Needless to say, I will not be quitting my day job (if I had one) to compete in the X Games.

Not everyone can fly the bar like the man in this video…

Moving is hell. Fortunately, the hilarity of dealing with Comcast provides a brief respite.

I called Comcast today to set up an appointment to return our cable modem. In an apparent attempt to simplify the process of getting in touch with your local Comcast office, the phone number for every branch is the same: 1-800-COMCAST.

The “conversation” went something like this:

Robot: Please enter your phone number
Me: 650-XXX-XXXX

Surprisingly Helpful Customer Service Representative: How can I help you?
M: I want to return my cable modem in Cambridge, MA.
SHCSR: This is California Comcast. You need to call Massachusetts Comcast.
M: How?
SHCSR: Oh, the system just chooses which state to send you to by looking at the area code of the phone number you enter. But, it doesn’t care if the rest of the number is real or not. So, try calling again, and just choose any phone number you want that has a Massachusetts area code.

I did, it worked, and I successfully returned the cable modem. But, this is a pretty broken system. I’m lucky that I’ve had co-workers (in Seattle) that were from MIT and had (617) cell phones — otherwise I wouldn’t have known any area codes in MA, even after living here for three months.

Using area codes as a proxy for geographic location is inane. Comcast, with all of their digital voice initiatives, should be well aware of that. Hell, the New York Times had a story about this two years ago, and it wasn’t exactly breaking news then.

Just for fun, here’s a snippet from said NYT article:

“How long before Ludacris’s ‘Area Code’ ceases to make sense?” asked Mr. Rojas, referring to a song in which the rapper uses only area codes to refer to locations where he has had sexual encounters. “That song only works if people know where each area code is located.”

Let’s hope Ludacris isn’t courting any of the lovely Comcast employees — attempting to call them could lead to some unwanted confusion.

Fake edit: Looks like this isn’t the stupidest thing Comcast did today.

Update: Andrew Parker feels my pain.  Sup, 650-to-617 brother?